Friday, August 15, 2014

This isn't me

        Hey everyone, it's time for my second post. Sorry this has take so long. I thought long and hard about this post and debated different topics until I remembered a conversation I had with a friend a little while back.  I had been coaching her through an eating disorder for a couple of months, and just like everyone else, different things are triggers, and different things help.  I was really trying to get her to dig deep and figure out what she thought would help her the most… That way I could tailor my advice to help her best.  She kept on telling me “I don’t know.”  Finally, I think mostly out of frustration, she said “I don’t know what will help, this is just not me.  I never wanted to have an eating disorder, what is wrong with me.”  Then it clicked… She thought because she is struggling with an eating disorder she is broken, she thinks she IS her eating disorder.  I know I felt that same way, and I am sure many of you do as well.
When you struggle with an eating disorder you are just that… struggling with an eating disorder, YOU ARE NOT YOUR EATING DISORDER.  Would you tell someone struggling with depression “You are depression”?  Everyone stumbles, everyone falls, everyone struggles, an eating disorder just happens to be your struggle.  It doesn’t define who you are or what you are unless you let it.  It’s whether or not you jump back up that counts.  So how do I get on the right track, start the journey of getting over this mind set?
 First thing, always remind yourself you are not your eating disorder, say it out loud if you have to. Even if at first it sounds silly or you don't quite understand it or believe it, you know what they say, fake it til you make it.  Soon it will make sense, and at first your voice may quiver when you say "I am not my eating disorder", but soon you can shout it out loud because you will believe it.  You will be suprised at how much help positive reassurance is, and as you read through my posts you will come to find that positive reassurance is one of my go to tools.
Second, the best way to know what will help most is to find the root of the problem.  It could be feeling you have no control in your life, a traumatizing event, anxiety or  low self-esteem.   It isn't always easy to find the root of the problem, you may even think there isn't a root... the eating disorder just happened, but if you think long enough something will click.  When you find that root you can start to take the steps to correcting that feeling. If it's a little harder to find the root don't fret, you can take steps to correcting your eating disorder anyway, maybe after a month or two something will pop up that just makes sense. Observe yourself, notice when your eating disorder is at its worst, where are you, who are you with, what are you doing?  These are triggers, I will talk more about this in my next post. Take note of those moments,  is there a pattern? 
Like i said before, positive reassurance goes a long way and it's typically my go to tool.  So this week's exercise is positive reassurance. When you panic remember 'I am not my eating disorder.' And follow that with a compliment,  something you like about yourself. Second assignment,  write a letter to your body, strange I know but it helps. Below I have put a sample of what your letter might say, be honest with yourself and say it all how it is.  It will feel good.

'Dear Body,
   I am so sorry for the way I have treated you lately, you are a beautiful machine and you take such good care of me.  We are supposed to be a team, working together, you take care of me and I take care of you.  I promise from here on out I will do better.  I may stumble so please be patient.  My goals are to think more positive, compliment you, feel comfortable in my own skin and eat well. I will obtain those goals by....'

   You get the idea right?  Easy enough.  You can make it as long or as short as you want.  I really want this exercise to help you realize you and your body ARE a team, you work together and its the only one you have.  Take care of it, love it.  You are beautiful!  Any questions or comments feel free to let me know.  Until next time XOXO.


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